yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
