He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
