You work out of a Hotel?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
