While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
