he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
