I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
