Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
