If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
