you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
