If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
