Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
