is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
