Who did Billy Mays play for?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It's just like the Real World with babies
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize