No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
