Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
