Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
