Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
