dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
