the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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