I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Nicole vs. Life
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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