I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
