Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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