This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize