i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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