Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
