You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize