AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
