I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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