I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
