You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
