Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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