thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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