yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
