when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
