so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
