I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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