i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
