uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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