dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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