my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
