The beer is more important than you right now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
