I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
