Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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