Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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