so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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