It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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