Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
