It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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