Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize