ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
