she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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