Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
