i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
