I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
