Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
