No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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