I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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