I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
