just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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