question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
