windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
