I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
