yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
