you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
