finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
When are your genitals available?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
