Hey man sorry I got all grabby
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize