She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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