it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
