dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
