I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
