Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
