I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
