marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
